Jul. 17th, 2013

japester: (Default)
A post, where I travel over a few topics, because that's where my head's at today.

IT MicroAggressions
Everybody except the current place of employment is aware that I'm not gender conformist. Even though Big Blue has paperwork spread everywhere, good policies and even a manager's handbook to assist transitioning employees, there is still the historical fear of being different. In all honesty, there has only ever been one workplace that has actively told me to conform, and that was iiNet. Everywhere else has just recognised the good work I do and move on.
But the fear persists.

At the moment, a lot of that is prompted by Douchebag McDoucheNozzle, a fellow employee who has demonstrated a remarkable ability to objectify people and irritate. He is one person who I am truly not comfortable being myself around, as I'm not ready to deal with the consequences of telling him to get nicked. Yesterday was a prime example of that. Neither of us are able to work at the moment, as we're waiting for the slow wheels of bureaucracy to grind, and he stood at my desk for some minutes, talking about going to lunch, and I really did not want to spend that time with him. It felt less painful to do that, than tell him I wanted to be on my own. There is a high probability that I'll be able to separate myself from him in the near future, so I'm just riding out the wave at the moment.

Prompted by this post - http://hacklikeagirl.wordpress.com/2013/06/23/out-of-the-cage-2/

Longer term, I've actually become quite sick of the misogyny and callous behaviour that is normal for so many in the IT industry. Linus Torvalds is a good public example of unnecessary verbal abuse. Douchebag is another. There are many reasons why there are very few IT/tech people in my circle of friends.
I'm seriously looking at what alternative work/career options I have, to let me GTFO.
One of the requirements will be an inclusive culture that doesn't exclude, harass, etc. any group of people, be they women, coloured, short, Klingon, whatever. Artistic enterprises (but not computer games) are probably it.

Music
I think that the passion for creating music has finally taken a hold of me. I've always listened to a lot of technically excellent groups, have dabbled in playing with other people, but have never had the drive to take it anywhere. Violin playing was just one of the many things I did.
After many, many years of not playing, I picked up my violin earlier this year, with the simple desire of "be able to play cleanly". I found a good teacher, without really trying and we work well together. Simply put, she makes me think and that's a rare skill.
It was only a few days ago that I realised that I am now playing for my own pleasure. My skills are at a level much higher than they have ever been, which is a happy surprise.
6 months. That's all it's taken, which is a demonstration of what I can achieve when I actually commit to something.

I'm not quite ready to put together another harp. I'd like to, but finding decent woods has proved so difficult that it might as well be impossible.

Mugairyu
Training ... is kind of happening.
Tom and I are catching up semi regularly, but it's not even once a week. I need it to be twice a week, for continuity and actual improvement. I have Plans (Tm) but ... ::sigh:: need the motivation to make them happen, and that requires interaction.
I did have a good discussion with an old workmate a couple of days ago. He's been teaching and running a dojo for some years, and had some good ideas. There's plenty more to discuss, which should be helpful.

That'll do for today.

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Jean-Paul

August 2013

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